


Riding Through The Gloom

by wouldmilexbetoomuchtoask



Series: Momentary Synergy [1]
Category: Arctic Monkeys, British Singers RPF, Indie Music RPF, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Little Illusion Machine inspired, M/M, also sex, also some feeeeelings, flashback of sorts, is it too corny with all those lyric bits snuck in there? I couldnt help mylself, milex - Freeform, my explanation of why are there barely any photos of humbug haired Alex with miles, my first shot at something thats not like an AU SO WELL SEE HOW THIS GOES, pretend they have accents okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 02:46:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4330866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wouldmilexbetoomuchtoask/pseuds/wouldmilexbetoomuchtoask
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why are there barely any photos of humbug haired Alex with Miles? What EXACTLY is Little Illusion Machine about?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Riding Through The Gloom

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO remember that time I said it would be a month before I posted something? And then here I am just two weeks later. You're welcome hahaha. I've had this idea planned out in the notes of my phone since about halfway through the last fic, but I didn't want to get too distracted so I waited until I was done. ANYWAY I hope you guys like this, I was going to split this up to be a couple chapters but eehhhhh fook it, here's all of it! :)
> 
> ALSO!!! I just wanted to put a little disclaimer, I stuck some Little Illusion Machine lyrics into this, and I'm sure we are all very familiar with the song so it will be painfully obvious, but I just wanted to mention it because, obviously, those are not my words.

**2015**

The beers they ordered hit the table with a clink as the server set them down, both men in need of a drink after a long day of working. Secret business, that is. They left Miles’ flat in London where they had been writing all day together in favor of winding down at a nearby pub.  
Alex is quick to get the glass into his hands. “To us, yeah? And to the fact that it weren’t the last of the shadow puppets back then.” he adds with a smirk.

Miles raises his glass to Alex’s, laughing at his pun, making the beers clink together once more. Alex admires the way Miles' eyes crinkle, and how he lets all his crooked teeth show in the way he smiles at him, so warm, so full of life.

“I think today went really well, mate. I’m right excited.” Miles says after his first sip.

Alex nods in agreement. “It were well past time for it, Mi. But with little Cookie about to be here any minute, and a Halloween surprise in store for Helders, now couldn’t be more perfect to be honest. I’m glad we waited.”

“Me too actually. Whenever something goes really well in the studio, I always think about like, what if I had woken up earlier that day? Or what if I hadn’t procrastinated yesterday? I maybe wouldn’t have gotten the same result. I don’t know, maybe it’s looking a little too into it, but honestly I don’t know if we could have written what we wrote today at any other time.”

Alex hums in agreement as he takes another sip of his lager.

“...Excuse me?” The unfamiliar voice piques their interest to the edge of the booth. A brunette girl is standing there, a bit timid in approaching them.

Alex senses her nervousness, and as someone who has really come out of his shell in his late twenties, always makes an effort to make sure people feel comfortable around him. He knows he would have appreciated it when he was a shy lad.

“ ‘ey, love.” He says warmly, getting up from the booth to properly talk to her.

Miles is content to stay seated, it seems like she’s just there for Alex anyway. She tells Alex her name, how big of a fan she is, raves that Humbug is her favorite album of all time. He laughs, hugs her, and thanks her warmly. She takes a selfie of them and Miles thinks she’s about to be on her way. However, she then addresses both of them, and says how much she loves The Last Shadow Puppets. Miles motions for her to sit down in the booth next to her, and he takes a picture with her as well.

“Thank you!” She says excitedly as they both look at the picture on her phone.

“ ‘s a good one, that.” Miles says as he motions to her phone.

“I agree! I can’t believe I ran into you guys here, I’ve been dying to meet both of you for ages. I’ve seen a ton of pictures online recently of people meeting both of you. I can tell because your hair is long again, Alex, and there’s no way to get it confused because I feel like I’ve only ever seen, like, three pictures of the two of you together when your hair was long before! Ya know, around the time when Humbug was being toured! Ah, sorry I’m rambling…..” She gets up and starts thanking them profusely, apologizing for interrupting their beer. And she’s out of sight.

Both men sip the end of their beers as the server sets down two more. Alex is seated across from Miles in the booth again, and the air has changed. They are both fully aware that there are barely any photos of them from that time period. Miles sips his beer, feels that Alex’s stare is practically eating through him. He meets Alex’s eyes, and there’s something about them, they seem darker than usual...deeper. They drown Miles, encompass him and suddenly everything around him feels kilometers away. He and Alex can convey feelings, emotions, even thoughts sometimes by just sharing a look, and Miles will never be able to do that with anyone else.

Alex is still looking into Miles, both of their minds lingering with the same subject. “Hm, funny that.” Alex finally says.

“Didn’t know people noticed that type of thing….” Miles says, hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck.

They both sip their beer, and just stare into eachother’s eyes, both thinking back, going over the same events of the past……..

 

 

**2006**

Alex is pacing back and forth in the dressing room of this tiny, tiny venue in the Wirral as he sips a margarita.

“Ehh, mate. Calm down, yeah?” Cookie suggests. He’s sitting on a table with an acoustic in his arms, mindlessly strumming away before they go out to play. “ ‘s not like you haven’t done this before, Al. Wot’s got you so worked up??”

At that moment all of the members of The Little Flames burst into the door, all sweaty from their set, the energy is radiating off of them.

Alex downs the rest of his drink. Jamie notices.

“Yeahh!!” Matt yells from the corner of the room where he was laying on a couch. “How’s the crowd tonight?”

“Bloody electric, mate!!” Miles is practically screaming, jumping up and down he’s still so pumped from their set.

Miles makes his way over to Alex and wraps his arm around his neck. Alex practically leans into him, but he’s aware that Jamie is watching.

“Al! They’re gonna love you out there tonight. I don’t see how they couldn’t. You look worried, mate! Relax! Let’s make you some more gig margaritas before it’s time for you to go on, yeah?”

Alex agrees, happy that Miles makes any situation more relaxing for him. But secretly that's not why he’s nervous. He’s left Miles a letter, in The Little Flames’ van. He’s put it in an envelope and wrote 'MILES' on the front. He’s certain he hasn’t seen it yet, as he snuck out of the venue to deliver it as Miles was just starting their first song of the night on stage. And they’ve just come straight to the Monkey’s room.

Alex lets out a shaky sigh, and Miles pulls his arm away to make his way over to the table where they have the booze laid out.

“THIS IS A LIME SQUEEZER, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!” Alex yells across the room, ever confident in Miles’ presence.

Nick practically falls jumping over a chair yelling “MARGARITA TIME!!”

The two boys make drinks for both bands, brushing hands as they hand things to each other, both standing way too close. These are the things that make Alex certain Miles will not run away once he reads his letter.

They all cheers together in a big circle before the Arctic Monkeys go out for their set. The margaritas make Alex a little calmer, but he still can’t help but have his mind occupied during their set. He knows Miles will probably go out to their van, the chances are good he will read the letter while they’re playing.

Once onstage, Cookie senses something is off. He looks at Alex, who’s trying hard to conceal any and everything he’s currently thinking. He looks to Matt, who’s looking at Alex. Jamie makes his way over to the drummer.

“Wot’s up with him, then?” Matt asks.

“Dunno… but I could bet it’s got somethin’ to do wif a certain guitar player from t'Wirral.” Jamie suggests.

Matt smiles then. “Ah, it all makes sense now! HEY AL!”

Alex turns around, sees that the two were talking about him. He glances over at Nick, who's standing there with his bass looking back and forth, confused. He starts over to the drum kit, and in turn, Alex joins the rest of his band.

“Wot??” Alex asks

“Yeah, wot's up?? Yer not thinking of changing the setlist, are you?” Nick is still SO confused.

“Nah, nah, nowt like that.” Cookie says, relieving Nick.

“Jamie and I think Alex has something on his mind. Yer obviously preoccupied in that brain of yours! I know it’s always running, and usually I can read it pretty well. But this time, Cookie’s the one who figured you out, Turner.”

“Wot??” Alex repeats himself, arms flailing in the air.

“Kane.” Is all Jamie says, and Alex’s cheeks turn a deep shade of red.

“I knew it!” Matt exclaims, pointing a drum stick right at Alex.

“Lads we are in THE MIDDLE OF A SET” Alex returns to the mic.

“Sorreh about that ladies and gentlemen, blame the Agile Beast.”

They finish the set, and go to the sides to wait a second for the crowd to cheer them back on for the encore. The three lads corner Alex into telling them whats up.

“Mate, we gotta know. If it’s affecting the vibe of the shows we gotta know.” Matt put his foot down on the issue. They were going to talk about it. Now.

“Well for one, you guys were right.” Alex starts off. “And I uh, I wrote him a letter.”

“Wot did it say?” Nick and Jamie ask at the same time.

“Hah, uhm, it's pretty much a love letter..” Alex turns that bright shade of red again.

“Ah, the advantages of dating a lyricist. Endless love poems.” Nick teases.

“Eh, ‘s not like that…..” Alex scratches the back of his neck. “Well, not entirely. Couldn’t have too many metaphors, meaning could be lost on him, yeah? Anyway I’m sorry about being elsewhere during our set, I doubt anyone but you guys noticed… but still. I’m just nervous. He’s most likely read it while we were playing and I just…. I just don’t wanna be rejected…”

They all clapped a hand on his shoulder or back, pulling him into a group hug.

“I’m sure it will be fine. Everything will work out.” Matt reassured his best friend, always knew exactly what to say.

“Yeah, I hope so. Let’s get back out there, I can hardly hear meself think.”

They returned to the stage, thanking the crowd for their enthusiasm. Before they played A Certain Romance, Alex glanced to the side of the stage. Sure enough, all the members of The Little Flames were there to watch the end of their set. Including Miles. He smiled and waved at Alex. He wasn’t sure whether he knew or not. But then he winked. Alex felt his heart lurch up into his throat he was so nervous and thrown off by that. He quickly motioned for Matt to start the song.

When they were done, they thanked the crowd again and Alex made sure to be in the middle of his mates making their way back to their dressing room. The Little Flames’ were soon to follow them in, though. They were all congratulating the Monkeys on an awesome set, and getting some drinks prepared.

Miles was a bit quieter than usual. “Hey Al?”

The rest of the Monkeys tried to listen without being too obvious.

“Yeah?”

“Fancy a smoke?” Miles gestured towards the door.

Miles wanted to talk, Alex was sure he read the note. He glanced warily at the rest of his band as he made his way out into the hallway and down out the back door where they would most definitely be alone.

Alex was so nervous he kept wiping his palms on the front of his jeans. They got out and both lit up without saying anything for a few minutes.

Miles broke the silence. “I got yer letter.” He was looking intently at Alex, whose eyes were on the ground.

Alex just winced and took a long drag. “.....yeah?”

“Yeah.”

For some reason they left it like that and both put out their finished cigarettes. With the nicotine flowing through him, Alex worked up the courage to finish what Miles started.

“And?” Alex finally met Miles’ eye when he spoke.

Miles didn’t say anything back, instead he took the two steps between them to close the distance. Alex’s back was against the cold bricks of the building, but he could hardly feel it, the only thing he was registering was how close he was to Miles, how much heat he gave off. Miles put one of his hands on the wall next to Alex’s face. In one swift motion he put his other hand on the back of Alex’s neck and urgently brought their lips together.

Alex couldn’t believe it was happening, it took him a second to register that he should be kissing back. He brought his hands up to grip Miles’ jacket to bring him closer and deepened the kiss. His tongue coming into contact with Miles’ made the taller boy groan. Alex bit his lip playfully, hair pulling, hands roaming, unable to get enough. Needing to come up for air, Alex pulled back and broke the kiss. He didn’t go far though, stayed close enough that their lips were still practically touching.

“I’m glad you understood what I wrote you….” Alex practically whispered he spoke so quietly. “I were worried I used too many metaphors or sommat, that you wouldn’t catch what I really was trying to tell ya.”

Miles brought Alex in for a chaste kiss. “I’d like to think I’m pretty good at yer riddles, Al.”

 

 

**2008**

Alex’s hair sticks to his forehead in the heat of the French countryside. The evening sun didn’t hang in the sky as long as they’d hoped, and left them riding well past dusk. Shadows sprawling across the path from the moon obscuring the trees, Miles leads the way on his bicycle with Alex not too far behind. His legs feel like jello when they slow down as they near the cottage. Miles hops off first, leaning his against the side of the house.

“Riding through the gloom, something beautiful.” Miles says, gesturing at Alex.

Alex pulls up and hops off almost as graceful as Miles had. Blushing because of Miles’ words, he leans his bike up against the wall, trying to hide the shade his cheeks have turned.

Once inside, Miles immediately pops open a bottle of fancy French wine. Alex can’t pronounce it but can’t get enough when Miles says it, and proceeds to read Alex all of the french words off the label.

Their hands intertwine first, muffled giggles into each others necks, inching closer together until there's nowhere else to go.

Alex climbs into Miles' lap, the only thing he's registering is the feel of Miles' hair beneath his fingers, his knees on the hard wood of the bench on either side of the taller's hips, and how Miles smells exactly like the field they laid in all day. Alex's head is swimming and Miles is the only thing his senses can pick up.

Miles holds onto Alex's hip bones to ground them, he feels like they could float up into the atmosphere. France is having quite the effect on him: the fresh air, the wine, the boy in his lap. The world is spinning and Alex is the only thing Miles can see.

The world seems to be moving in slow motion. Alex deepens the kiss and it sends Miles' mind into a hazy twirl, he can feel it everywhere.

Their shirts are tossed next to the kitchen table, shoes discarded long ago when the bottle was only half empty. Love bites and hands roaming, Alex can hardly think. Everything is in slow motion but at the same time moving at the speed of light. He decides this is the best he's ever felt.

"France is perfect."

"You're perfect" is Miles' response against his neck before biting down, sending Alex's hips to buck down involuntarily.

"Miles....." The softest whimper against Miles's collarbone and that's all it takes for the rest of their clothes to be history. The humidity in the kitchen has risen tenfold, contributing to the lightheaded dreamlike state of France.

Once in the bedroom, both hit with the cold breeze from the open window, time seems to suddenly halt. White sheets, fluffy brown hair, wide lust blown eyes, the shadows from the moon playing over their bodies.

Alex climbs back into Miles's lap. This time, with clothes removed, both of them moan aloud at the sudden contact. Miles takes both of their cocks in one of his hands, long fingers able to squeeze them both together. They moan in unison, unintentionally harmonizing with each pump and chanting each other's names.

Alex has his hands to Miles's throat when he finally pushes himself down onto his cock. If the world wasn't spinning before it definitely is now. He can't tell up from down, left from right, the only thing that makes sense is Miles and how he's pounding up into him. Sweat is drenching them both despite the open window, hands slicking across their skin as Miles grips Alex's hips as tight as possible, sure to leave bruises.

Alex rolls his hips down to meet Miles' upward thrust and all of a sudden he can only see white. Miles does it over and over, reveling in what it's doing to Alex. Screaming with each thrust, he's got one hand around Miles' neck and the other in his hair, pulling, none too gentle.

"Miles, Miles, Miles, Miles......" Over and over, chanting like he would never be able to get enough, it's cause for Miles' rhythm to become haphazard. His jaw hanging slightly, unable to believe the beautiful sight before him, and not to mention the hand around his neck, Miles is on the brink.

"Al....." Miles practically growls as he gets a hand on him, sending Alex into a fit of moans that Miles thinks to be the most perfect sound in the world. He pumps Alex's cock with fast strokes in rhythm with his hips, bringing them both to the edge.

"Alex... Now." Miles' wish is his command and they come in unison, Miles fills Alex as he finishes hot and heavy all across their stomachs.

Legs intertwined under light white sheets, the wind howling against the cottage. Miles has his head resting on Alex's chest. Absentmindedly caressing circles into Miles' shoulder blades, Alex almost doesn't hear himself say it.

"I love you."

Miles lifts his head to look into his eyes. Brown and big enough to get lost in, Miles doesn't know how he ever finds his way out. But he knows he wouldn't mind if he didn't.

"I love you too."

 

 

**2009**

Miles waits nervously for his phone to ring. He knows Alex must have gotten his letter by now, he MUST have. He’s worried, fearing the worst. He’s been like this for days, just waiting for Alex’s response. Hopefully he didn’t think to answer back with his handwritten eloquence, only because the subject Miles wrote about simply cannot wait that long for an answer. And hopefully Alex knows that.

He’s sprawled out on his settee in London, button down shirt not buttoned at all. Instead it hung loosely on his shoulders, draping across his thin frame. He held a drink in his hand, just to calm his nerves. Oasis playing softly on the record player, he tried to preoccupy his mind by glancing at the telly that was muted, on some old black and white film. His eyes kept traveling back towards the phone on the coffee table, though he dared not touch it. Sipping anxiously, it happened. It was ringing. It was Alex.

“ ‘lo?” Miles tried to sound as calm and normal as he possibly could given the situation.

“Miles.” Alex’s voice cracked, giving away that he was crying.

Miles let out a long, shaky breath.

“Miles… I…” Through the phone Miles could hear the exasperated sigh Alex made, and also the sniffle that followed. “Miles…. “

Alex didn’t even need to finish saying what he was trying to piece together in his mind, Miles knew. He knew. Alex was crying, not able to form full sentences, voice cracking when he tried. It all added up to what Miles was fearing most.

“Miles. Please.”

“Alex.” Miles’ voice sounded tiny even to him, he didn’t want Alex to go any further. But he had asked for it.

Alex let out another sigh. “I cant leave her, Mi. I can’t leave Lex.”

Neither of them said anything for awhile. They just stayed on the phone listening to each other's muffled breath and trying not make it obvious they were crying, even though they both knew. Miles could hear the storm in New York City through Alex’s phone, and he was sure Alex could hear London’s. How fitting.

Finally, Miles voice croaked out the quietest “Alex…”

And the response he got was an equally quiet, “Mi, I...I’m so sorry.” Alex broke down openly now, not caring to hide his sobbing.

“Alex….. I’ll always love you.” And with that confession Miles hung up the phone, determined to make what he just said not a reality.

 

 

**2011**

They had only seen each other intermittently throughout the past two years, and Miles made sure to keep a bird on his arm at all times. What an illusion. Of course he had given Alex the ultimatum in the first place, but he thought it would be easier than this. He had also thought that Alex would choose _him_. Miles had kept himself busy though, finished up with The Rascals and decided to make the trek on his own.

It was an early Friday morning when Miles heard the mail fall through the slot in the door. He had woken up early, 5AM to be exact, shaken awake by a dream. The details had slipped past his consciousness faster than he could grab at them, feeling hazy he decided to get an early start on the day's writing.

He glanced at the clock on the wall, almost 9AM. He padded barefoot across the hardwood, plaid pajama bottoms sweeping the floor with each stride. Bending down to pick up the mail, he froze halfway down. The letter on top. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He considered for a moment if he could still be dreaming.

Slowly, he picked it up, leaving his other mail strewn where it had landed. Staring at it for what felt like hours, he just stood in the middle of the room. Unable to do anything else. It was a white envelope, his name and address penned in all caps. The return address finally caught his eye… Sheffield.

“That’s strange.” He said aloud. _Why not New York?_ he thought.

He sat down on the edge of the settee and finally opened it. He read it three times. Tears were streaming down his face. His heart was on the floor. Miles quickly stood, scrambling for wherever the bloody hell he left his phone.

Unlocking it, selecting the first contact in his list, he was for some reason out of breath, and half collapsed, half eased his way down onto the carpet of his bedroom. Lying on the floor with arms sprawled, the ringing in his ear was drawn out, time had stopped. And then finally, finally! The only voice he ever wanted to hear for the rest of his life- deep, drawling, said “Miles.”

He almost forgot to say something back. “......Al.”  
They sat in comfortable silence. Until Miles sniffled. Then, “I got yer letter.”

“He’s ridden the riddle, he’ll do it again.”

Miles couldn’t help but smile, he missed his loser who spoke in metaphors.

“Why didn’t you call?”

“You know I’m better with me words on paper.”

“But it’s just me. I would have given you all the time you needed to explain everything.”

“ _Just_ you…..” Alex said, probably to himself although it was just loud enough that Miles could hear it. “Can I see you, Mi?”

Miles heart was bursting at the seams. “Of course. Where?”

“Back to the Wirral?”

“Where it all began.”

 

\-----

 

Miles arrived in his hometown two hours after he had told Alex he’d be there. Some type of delay with the train. Alex has apparently gotten some room in a swanky hotel. If he wanted swanky then he could have come to Miles in London. But Alex gets what Alex wants.

A quick text tells Miles exactly where to go: Three blocks down and two blocks over from the train station, up the elevator of the swanky hotel to the 7th floor, take a right, walk past the first two corridors and he’s in room 717.

Miles slowly knocks on the door, slightly nervous. He hears some shuffling inside and Alex swings the door open. He doesn’t even say anything, just swiftly pulls Miles in the room and shuts the door behind them. He takes Miles bag from his hands and throws it on the bed, and pulls Miles in for a tight hug. Just feeling each other solid in their arms and not just some fleeting memory has them transfixed in the entryway for what feels like hours.

“I”m glad you could make it, Mi.” Alex practically whispers into Miles’ neck. He doesn’t want to pull away just yet. The smell of the scouser is something that he missed more than he had originally realized.

“Me too, me too.” Miles says as they pull apart, looking into each other’s eyes. There’s something there, always has been when they look at each other.

Miles moves to take his jacket off and they finally step into the room. There’s a settee and a large bed and a desk with two chairs. Alex moves to the mini fridge Miles originally didn’t see and pulls out two beers.

“We need to talk. I feel like I really need to explain meself.” Alex says as he hands over one of the bottles.

They both take a seat on the settee, Miles puts his feet up and opens the beer. He feels like he should let Alex start but, as usual, Alex is taking his sweet time with his words. So Miles decides to say something he’s been meaning to say for two years.

“I’m sorry I did that.”

“Wot?”

“I’m sorry I gave you an ultimatum. I’m sorry I made you ch-”

“Mi, you don’t have t-”

“No, mate, I really need to. I’m sorry I made you choose. I’m sorry you didn’t choose me but I’m mostly sorry that it fucked our friendship.” Miles was trying hard not to let the tears fall so he left it at that. He looked up expectantly at Alex, and he looked much the same.

“You should have seen me when I got the letter. Lex didn’t know what was wrong, I told her I was sick, I couldn’t get out of bed….I….I made the wrong choice.... I had me reasons though.”

“Just as I had mine. For giving you the ultimatum in the first place.”

“I know that…...It’s just. It never got close enough, ya know? It’s like we tried it and we liked it, but it never gets close enough. At least, it didn’t then.... I just wasn’t ready to come out. I had Alexa, sure it were an illusion of sorts but….. you and me… this….” Alex gestured between them, “I realized I wouldn’t ever feel like this about anyone else. Lex and I, our schedules started to become so different I felt like I was living in that flat in New York all by meself. I needed to get out. Me mind, Miles, it’s always wandered to you. But these past few months…..” Alex starts to visibly cry now, Miles instinctively moves closer to put an arm around him, rubbing soft circles into his back.

“Shhhh, love. It’s okay.” Is what Miles says but the sight of Alex crying has always broken him.

“I couldn’t get it out me head that I fucked up. I really fucked up. You were everything I ever wanted and I didn’t choose you.” Alex’s head was in his hands, but he looked up at Miles to ask, “How could I have done that to you?” Miles breaks down at that, and the two of them held each other like it was the last, getting tears all over nice button down shirts.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” Alex keeps mumbling into Miles’ neck.

“Shhhhh, love, it’s okay. You’re here now. You’re here now.”

Alex pulls out of Miles’ arms slightly, just enough so he can see his face. Tears are streaming down both of their cheeks and Alex can’t look away, Miles’ gaze is mesmerizing even while crying.

“I’m hoping tonight is going to send me back to you. I love you. I’m so sorry. I love you.”

Miles crashes their lips together, and his whole world comes back into view. He hasn’t felt like this in what feels like millenias. Alex tastes of salty tears and beer but also exactly like Alex and Miles’ head is in the clouds. The kiss is urgent and wanting, soon hands are roaming and even though there’s tears and snot and they both are out of breath it’s still the only thing they need.

Miles finally mumbles into Alex’s lips, “I love you too, I’ll always love you.”

Alex pulls away and looks at him. “That’s what you said. On the phone.”

“It was the truth then and it’s the truth now.”

Alex pulls Miles practically by the neck to get up from the settee and onto the bed. He pushes Miles’ skinny frame down onto his back and he climbs up onto his lap. Knees on either side of his hips, Alex pulls his own shirt off, reaching for Miles’ next. His hands are already at Alex’s belt buckle, and Alex doesn’t stop him, not in the least.

Their kisses are bruising, their touches are urgent. Once all their clothes are removed, Alex finds himself flipped over onto his stomach, Miles running his hands down his back, onto his ass, squeezing, causing Alex to moan aloud. He tries to spread his legs out so Miles gets the hint.

It’s been so long. But it all feels the same. Miles knows where Alex needs little touches most, just how hard to pull that hair of his, and what to whisper hotly into his ear to have him coming undone at the seams. Alex knows the deep growls Miles makes by heart, how to match his movements like they’ve choreographed it, and knows exactly how to respond to those hot whispers.

Miles slips away for a fraction of a second, and before Alex knows it Miles hands are back to caressing his ass, and then he feels it. The cold lube dripping down his lower back, Miles smearing it around with his long fingers, right to where Alex needs it most.

Breathing hotly on Alex’s neck, Miles slips a finger into him, and nearly moans when Alex does. He nearly forgot what a beautiful sight he was. He soon adds another and has Alex moving back towards his fingers, again and again. He’s gripping the duvet beneath him like his life depends on it, knuckles white.

“Miles, please.”

Miles smirks. He knows this game. He knows it well. “Hmm? Wot was tha’, Al?” He murmurs smiling against the skin on his neck.

“Please, Mi. I need you. Please. Fuck me, please fuck me like we used to.” And with that Alex shifts his head to look Miles in the eye. They’re dark, darker than usual, lust blown and it makes Alex melt. He didn’t know if he’d ever get to see Miles like this again. He pulls his hand up to the back of Miles’ neck to pull him into a kiss, as passionate as he can make it, wanting to show Miles everything he’s feeling. Both tongues battling for dominance, they both groan into each other’s mouths at the feeling. Alex nibbles at Miles’ lower lip and it sends Miles into a moan of the type Alex hadn’t heard in years.

They pull away for air, and Miles takes his chance to lube himself up. Getting into position, he slides his hot, slippery head against Alex’s entrance teasingly. Up and down, up and down, it’s got Alex squirming and panting underneath him.

“Miii, please.”

“Hmm, please wot, Al? I wanna hear you say it.” Miles says lowly into Alex’s ear as he squeezes Alex’s ass cheeks on either side of his hard cock. Biting Alex’s ear to stifle his moan, Alex visibly shivers.

“Please fuck me Mi, I want your cock inside me, I need it, please.”

And Miles does as he’s bid. Slowly, he pushes his cock into Alex, moans escaping both their throats. Miles grips Alex’s shoulders tightly until he gets the nod to start moving. As he does, Miles isn’t sure he’s going to last as long as he wants this to be. He slides his hands down Alex’s back again, this time gripping his hips to give himself more leverage.

Alex is a panting mess but somehow his deep voice is smooth and perfectly drawling as he begs, “Harder Mi, please. Faster. I need you deeper.”

Miles groans deep in his throat at the way Alex begs for his cock. He shifts himself to hold onto the headboard with one hand, and Alex’s hair with the other, pushing the older lad further into the mattress. Miles hips start moving impossibly fast and Alex is a mess of curses and praises, his hips meeting Miles’ with every beat.

“You’re mine.” Miles growls into Alex’s ear.

Moaning over and over, “I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m yours...” Alex is pliable under Miles’ touch _and_ his words, and neither are going to last much longer.

Eventually, “Mi…” Is the only word Alex can form, but Miles knows exactly what he needs. He slips his hand between Alex and the mattress and squeezes his impossibly hard cock. Precum drenched the sheets underneath him, Miles moans loudly as soon as he gets a hand on him. Pumping him in time with his deep thrusts, Alex’s moans becoming higher pitched by the second.

“Come for me, Al. Now.” Miles commands just like he used to, exactly like Alex wanted it.

Alex is over that edge immediately after hearing those words, coming all over Miles’ hand. Miles comes at almost the exact same time, Alex tightening around his cock sends him over the edge and it’s bliss. He rides both their orgasms out, reveling in how beautiful Alex is with his cheeks all flushed and out of breath.

They end up with their legs entangled under clean sheets. Holding each other tightly for the first time in years, they both fall asleep feeling more content than they ever thought they’d be again.

 

\-----

 

Miles wakes up to the sun shining into his eyes through white sheets. He shifts around a little and realizes where he is. He lifts the sheet down from over his eyes and is greeted with a sight reserved only for his dreams. Alex is sitting next to him in bed, sans clothes, writing in his notebook. Miles doesn’t want this moment to end, he takes in as much as he can: Alex’s fluffy morning hair, the smell of his skin just inches away, and the way he absentmindedly hums whatever he’s trying to workout in that brain of his. He eventually feels Miles’ stare.

“Goodmorning, love.” He smiles warmly down at Miles.

“Can I take a look?” Miles asks, gesturing towards the notebook.

Alex blushes. “I were actually hoping to write this together.” He hands it over.

Reading it, Miles gets a rush of nostalgia, love, hurt, tears, sex, warmth, everything that’s ever been between them. He looks up at Alex, who’s eyeing him for a reaction.

“Alex...these things, how did you even remember we said them?”

He smirked. “You recognized them, you remember them too.”

“I have more.” And with that Miles adds the finishing touches to what would eventually become _Little Illusion Machine_.

 

 

**2015**

Alex is the first to break the eye contact. Sipping his beer, humming softly. Miles can barely make out the song. Alex looks at him like he’s been to a different world. And he’s sure that he has. Miles realizes what song it is as soon as he’s taken the last sip of his beer.

“Come on, Wirral Riddler, let’s get out of this pub.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING! I hope you all liked it. Please let me know what you think!
> 
> BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR SOME JAMEX FROM ME NEXT PEOPLE!!!!!!
> 
> you can find me on my 'secret sideblog for my fics' on tumblr: @wouldmilexbetoomuchtoask


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